This One Simple Question Could Actually Change Your Life

Paul Kearley
6 min readJun 13, 2017

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I had never before seen so much chocolate in one place. It was like a dream come true. And I was surrounded.

But there was something I didn’t understand.

I didn’t recognize any of the brands. On closer inspection, I discovered that it was all British Brands.

“That’s kind of weird” I thought, “right here in the opening of Pete’s Frootique in the Bedford mall, in downtown Canada, there’s a telephone booth and a whole display aisle filled with Chocolate that wasn’t even made here”.

At that moment, a lady with a broom and a dustpan shuffled by and I decided to ask her what the deal was.

“Excuse me” I said, “can you tell me what this display is supposed to mean?” And before she even heard me, I figured it out. The owner of this store was Pete Luckett, an immigrant to Canada from the UK who made a success of selling fruit and vegetables with his famous “Toodle le do” sign off on his television spots and his head for business.

Mystery solved.

So, I just stood there waiting for our my contact to arrive, and the lady with the broom stopped, and asked me if I was talking to her.

“Well, yes I was wondering about this really cool chocolate display you have here, but I figured it out already.”

She gave me the biggest smile, said OK, and started to shuffle off again.

Seeing that there was time to kill, I reached out with, “So, how’s your day going?”

She again stopped, straightened, focused on me and said “Just Great! Thank you and God bless you for asking.”

Now I was curious.

On closer inspection, I saw her name printed on her shirt. “Fani” it said.

So, I wanted to learn more and I dug in.

“I’ve never seen that name before, where is it from?”

“Brazil, and it’s pronounced “Funny” she casually said.

“So Fani, what’s your story?”

It was like she was just waiting for someone to ask her this question, and she smiled this wonderful smile and the room lit up.

“My husband and I moved to Canada from Brazil 8 years ago to find a better life, and for a few years we did. Then he died of cancer.

I’ve been without him now for 6 years and I miss him terribly. But I know where he is, so I’m going to be ok. It’s just that sometimes I do get lonely.

That’s why I decided a few years ago to try to spread the good news so I can make other people happy. I am using a smile, a word about God and a hug to people if I see that they look down or troubled, and it has brought a lot of joy to my life and of course theirs. But there are days when I need the same thing, and today is one of those days. Today is the anniversary of my husband’s death and it’s just hard putting my thoughts together.

And God has brought you here to cheer me up and remind me that He cares.

Thank you so much for talking with me.”

“You’re welcome Fani. Now I need one of your famous hugs.” I said.

As we hugged, she said to me, “Remember that when you have bad days, all you need to do is ask God for strength and He will provide. You can do all things through God who strengthens you.”

She stepped back, gave me another smile and “thank you” and took up her broom and walked away.

I’m so glad I took the time to ask Fani to tell me her story.

This was a couple of weeks ago now, and it still invades my memory.

All I did was ask how someone’s day was, and was genuinely interested, and now I am the one who continues to be impacted, even weeks later. It has changed me.

What’s up with that?

As you can tell, I’ve devoted a lot of time to this, and here’s what I am discovering: Life isn’t about you, it’s about the impact you have on the people you meet each and every day. Dale Carnegie said, “You can make more friends in two months by being genuinely interested in others than you can in two years by trying to get them interested in you.”

Well said sir.

I could have just watched her pass by and noticed that she seemed sad and five minutes later I would have forgotten the whole thing and had moved on with my busy life.

But people are like icebergs: there is SO much more under the surface and often the people are even colder than the iceberg.

But in spite of that, something in me cared.

Something urged me to talk to her.

Something… or Someone brought her and I to that place and time if only to have that brief conversation and let her know that she mattered.

Everyone needs to know: You matter, and you are important.

It’s those who don’t who become disengaged from life and it’s those who don’t who end up in prisons and group homes and who can never hold a job or have a successful relationship.

And it is so very simple.

A kind word, a smile or a genuine interest in other people will take you further faster than you may have ever dreamed. The famous Zig Ziglar said, “You can get everything you want in life if you’ll just help enough other people get what they want.”

What do people want?

According to Joyfuldays.com the front of their top ten list is: family and relationships.

People just want to belong and have someone who cares about them.

I know that’s hard sometimes. There’s people in my life who I’d rather not talk to or have anything to do with, but if I am to follow my own advice, then I’d better put myself last and the other person first even if it is to only say “you’re not alone”.

This week, notice the people around you. Especially the difficult ones. Look beyond their exterior of crustiness and indifference and, if you dare, offer a kind word with no expectations of anything in return.

Ask them to tell you their story.

What you receive may surprise you.

What you receive could be priceless… to you both.

Make an Impact this week.

************ If you enjoyed this week’s article, please share it. There are many who could benefit***********

My vision is quite simple: to make an impact on the lives of the people who have been entrusted to me: You (for reading this article), my family and my clients.

I coach people. Direct, practical, innovative, meaningful. I coach for excellence.I love what I do… and so do my clients.

Over the years I’ve noticed that business coaching that was supposed to make us stronger actually took away our confidence and made us doubt ourselves. Confidence and people skills aren’t developed just by measuring and planning everything, they grow through doing and learning from experience and by taking risks. People want to make a difference. Build teams. Be better understood. Live more confidently.

I am committed to creating a world where business people communicate and act with confidence to create better worlds for themselves. Worlds where they feel powerful and free to express themselves. Worlds where something as simple as conversation creates energy, understanding and impact. Worlds so exquisite, I couldn’t imagine doing anything else.

If you found this article helpful, insightful or moving, please let me know, if you think it can help others, please share it with them.

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Paul Kearley

We coach people. Direct, practical, innovative, meaningful. We coach for excellence. We love what we do